If I am ever watching Christian TV or tuning into YouTube, I often have the feeling that those who have a platform to share about Jesus, evangelise, teach or head up ministries are all a step ahead of me. Looking at them as they share their passion and minister, I often see them as being invincible channels of God’s love and power. They know they have a right to speak and share. Confidence emanates from them. They’ve got what it takes to be in that position and they are chosen and popular in the eyes of so many.
I see that as being true for so many who are obviously at the forefront of ministry, but I don’t see it as being true for me too. In fact, when I think of myself, my only conclusion is that there will always be others that would be a better choice for God to use than me.
Sadly I’m not alone in this negative viewpoint about myself as I meet people all the time who are full of admiration for the way God is using someone they’ve seen or heard about, but who can’t bring themselves to believe that they too are called by God to be channels of His love.
But when I read the Gospels and in fact through the Old andNew Testaments as a whole, it is clear that God looks at people very differently to us. I feel astounded sometimes at those He chooses to carry His message. The demonised man that we call Legion for example. After Jesus delivers him of his many demons he wants to follow Jesus on the road, but Jesus tells him to stay in his community and tell everyone what Jesus has done for him. Jesus was calling him into evangelistic ministry and seemingly totally ignoring the fact that only minutes before, he’d been living as a mad man, naked, chained and using tombstones as a bed. Similarly, Zaccheous, who was fully entrenched in a sinful lifestyle is sought out by Jesus and chosen as the one whose home He would grace with His presence. Then we only need to think of people like Mary, Rahab, David and the woman of Samaria to realise that every single person is dear to Jesus and has the right to be chosen to be His channel.
All He wants and looks for is an open welcoming heart.
I discount myself because as I look inward I see things like my deafness or visual impairment as a sign of ‘being less’. These disabilities can render me as not being quite so up to speed with what’s going on in theworld. The latest fads, musicians, films, debates and sporting heroes all tend to pass me by. So I knock myself out of the running, always thinking, ‘others will be so much better than me.’
But this is actually the voice of shame, masquerading as humility or wisdom.
I’m discovering to my astonishment that God never knocks me out of the running and instead asks, ‘Who can I send?’ looking straight at me as He does so. In the Bible it shows that He sees what is in our hearts and isnever put off by the things that people see as being important. He tells us to view ourselves and others in the same way, through His perspective, not ours.
When I really stop to think about it, and of course, to pray, I am sure that God isn’t bothered at all about me being deaf or visually impaired and their effects. He wants me, just as I am, as incredible as thatis. He calls me ‘chosen and loved’ and calls me out of my hiding places becauseHe loves to see me and to hear my voice, (Song of songs 2:14) He even saysHe wants to bring me healing and deep comfort and then empower me so I can give authentic comfort to those around me. (2 Cor 1:4)
I don’t have to be popular, streetwise, perfect or have any particular status or status symbols. All I need is to be me with all my weaknesses and flaws and let Him in to love me and then to step out to givethat love away as He leads me.
Just me, just you!
Called, chosen and loved.
