It’s funny how shame messages sneak in so subtly. I can be going about my day quite happily but out of the blue a thought comes in that propels me back onto that pathway of pain and shame. As an example, Marilyn and I enjoy entertaining and have recently had the joy of different friends coming for meals. I am not a very experienced cook and many others are far more creative in the kitchen than me, but nevertheless I can produce a lovely meal and so can Marilyn. Marilyn has a great ability to tell what needs adding to a dish to enhance it and certain things I cook come out very tasty. So why then do I get this insidious little voice whispering to me before my guests arrive that no one will enjoy the meal because I’m such a rubbish cook and am bound to fail?
I find these negative whispers so easily take over my thoughts and seem to carry a weight of authority as if they are facts that can’t be denied. So I take them in and start comparing myself negatively with others. Then I get overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and become miserable and anxious instead of joyfully anticipating the happy time I’m going to have with my friends.
I’m realising this is a shame pathway that God doesn’t want any of us to walk. The Holy Spirit even inspired Paul to use the model of the parts of the human body and how essential they all are for that body to function well. ‘If the ear should say “because I am not an eye I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be?’ 1 Cor 12:16-17
I am that ear saying that because I’m not like that person or this person or like a Masterchef candidate, that I am inferior. But God has given me my own unique way of reaching out and loving those around me. If I did cook like a Masterchef finalist but that was my main focus in inviting guests, would people feel any more loved? But if I offer what I can do but most of all, offer my love and friendship that is surely what will have the greatest impact?
Jesus is whispering in my heart, ‘You are all I made you to be and I delight in you.’ I am asking Him to help me take that deep into my heart so I can live as me, Tracy, knowing I am both loved and a channel of His love to others, just as I am.
May you know that joy too.
Tracy
